Is Winning becoming a dirty word
This is a common conversation with technical leaders in the game. We talk about how we measure success? If we don't measure it through wins and loses, and we can’t, how do we? Has winning become a dirty word, something we avoid. Why do we avoid this? This is a simple question. The simple answer is there iz a minority of overzealous parents and coaches with a win at all cost attitude towards the game. The screaming and hollering from the bleachers is deafening and puts further pressure on players and coaches and does nothing but restrict our ability to play with freedom and allow players to express themselves.
I must admit it turns my stomach when I walk by a team as their coach addresses them and that coach indicates the importance of winning that game and what it means for them to do that. What’s wrong with that you may ask? The challenge is that players fully comprehend everything that is in front of them as it pertains to wins and loses. At our younger age groups we do not keep scores or standings, the idea is to allow more freedom within the program. Players play, parents don't get caught up too much in what's happening, there are still the occasional issues but generally this has been received in the spirit for which it was intended. The reason this program exists is not because players are causing issues with keeping scores and standings, it is unfortunately the majority of time coaches who cannot control themselves and strive towards a win at all cost attitude towards the game. Players getting significantly less playing time than their peers, not being afforded the opportunity to play certain positions, etc…
Ask any 10 year old coming off the field in a game that does not keep scores who won and what the score is. I guarantee you they will tell you everything you wanted to know about the game. Then why do we feel the need to remove scores? Are we limiting players' opportunity to compete if we do not ‘teach’ them how to win or how to lose. The old saying is “the game is the greatest teacher.” It doesn't say the scoreboard is the greatest teacher so why do we put pressure on coaches and players to frame the success of a team through wins and losses.
People have asked me whether I like to win because I have this philosophy, ummm YES!! In fact I am as bad a loser as any coach you will come across however, there is one big difference. I will not put my desire to look good at the forefront of everything we do. Our metrics are not wins and losses. If we use this as a metric then one team per season can be deemed to have had a successful season while all other teams have failed!
A big question that rarely if ever gets asked is”what type of experience do players want?” We have a 12 year old son and he has a desire to play in a league with scores and standings. He likes the idea of a league table because that is what he sees in the teams he supports as a fan. Does this environment change the way he trains or plays because it has scores and standings? No, because he has coaches who are committed to process, to ensuring all players have a meaningful experience and that all players are valued in how they are contributing to the team
What are our measures of success then? That is down to the individual coach and what they want their group to work towards. It could be specific measurable, shots on goal, 1 v 1 moments, how many skill moves we do in a game. It could be more general about the way we play, how we build out of the back and can we keep more possession than our opponents. Whatever this is for you, keep evaluating, keep changing and keep pushing your players to achieve and then change the goals so they are constantly challenged.
Winning does not need to be a dirty word, it is ok to win, to want to win and to put together a plan so your team can win. The slippery slope is, if that is your objective then your ability to create meaningful opportunity and experience for players are limited!!
